Response to Jazmine Booth


Assignment 2: Rough Draft Discussion

              . Read at least two of your classmates’ drafts and provide comments and suggestions on how they can improve their papers.

Once a draft has received a review from one of your classmates, try to focus on another paper so that each student receives feedback from at least two other classmates. Particularly, you should address the following areas in the seminar papers: Do the papers exhibit logical consistency?

Do conclusions follow from the data and its analysis? Have gaps in research data been identified and explained? While responding, identify the similarities and differences between what you have constructed and what your classmates have.

Sample paper

Response to Jazmine Booth

Your paper exhibits great logical consistency. There is good flow of ideas, which is characterized by logical connectedness of one idea to another. I have found your introduction particularly enticing. Just by reading the introduction, one can tell a lot about the nature of your paper. The introduction helped me to clearly understand the topic and your general argument of the paper. With regard to gap in existing research, there is lack of sufficient data on whether treatment in prison settings has a significant impact on crime and violence just as you highlight. There are various treatment approaches today in prisons but the rate of recidivism remains high. This indicates the inefficiencies of some of these treatment approaches. Nonetheless, there are a few areas of improvement I would like point out. In feel the conclusion is not strong enough and should be expanded a bit. It should tie everything together and provide strong comments about your findings from the discussion. Another thing to note is that when you provide statistics basing on ‘recent studies’ make sure the sources are less than 5 years old. Overall, the paper looks great.

Response to Nadia Thornton

Great topic you chose to work on. There are many controversies over the efficacy of various rehabilitation programs in reducing recidivism rates. Your paper abstract provides a great overview of the topic in general. This is great as the abstract is surely meant to act as a summary of the paper. There are a few things you can do to improve the logical consistency of your paper. You need to shorten your paragraph length to utmost 150 words per paragraph. This would make it easier to read and understand the arguments in a particular paragraph. You also need to include subheadings throughout the paper. This will help in making the paper more clear, such that the reader can enjoy going through the paper. There also a few issues with APA citations. You should cite the ‘Bureau of Justice Statistics’ as an organization and include the year or publication. It is difficult to tell whether gaps in research were identified because there are no subheadings. You should make your conclusion stronger by summarizing your findings concerning the efficacy of rehabilitation programs in reducing recidivism rates.


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